she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
