Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
