I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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