why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
