does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
