what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
