you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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