Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
