he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
