Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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