Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So much rum. So many feels.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
