Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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