some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't think brook has ever known best
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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