College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
