you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
