Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
