I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
