I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
