She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
