is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
