FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's never too late to be topless.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
