Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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