If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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