That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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