I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize