woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
