Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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