on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
