omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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