I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
