Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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