there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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