I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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