Please, let me fuck your mom
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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