I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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