A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Shame is for Republicans.
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