At least make sure they are 18
Why
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
