And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
