someone owes me an orgasm
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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