Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's always time for handjobs
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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