K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
