Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
