She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
