I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
