i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
