Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
