Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize