babies were throwing up all over the place
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hippo gnu deer
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize