I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it because I queefed?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
