Well douche your snatch and let's go!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
