my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
