Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
