I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
