I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
