I have demons in me.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you inspire me to be a worse person
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
