Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
