what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
