butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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