problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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