I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no. you can't hotbox the world.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
