drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
