from now on my penis is your penis
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
