She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
